June 29, 2021 3 min read

Do you ever think about your thoughts? Have you ever caught yourself making up stories in your mind about situations that aren’t happening in reality, but it feels real as you are thinking it? Our minds are so powerful and we tend to believe things not based on truth, but based on our perspective. Once I realized this, I was able to start taking control of my thoughts and shift my mindset so it supported me. 

Our Thoughts Rule Our Lives 

Whether we are aware of it or not our thoughts are ruling our lives. They are either supporting us in where we want to go, or they are dragging us down, keeping us stuck in the same place. We have around 50,000 thoughts a day, but the majority of them are the same thoughts you had yesterday. As we grow up we start to believe things about ourselves and our lives. We continue to think these thoughts over and over unless we actively try to change them. 

Have you ever had a lightbulb moment? You are trying to think of a solution for something and out of nowhere a thought flows into your mind and it seems like a lightbulb goes off. There is a chance that this is a new thought. That you are used to thinking one way about the problem that when you think of a new way it is as if a lightbulb goes off in your mind. We are used to thinking the same things over and over, but if we want to grow and gain confidence we have to think new thoughts. 

Supportive vs Destructive Thoughts 

There are two different thoughts I like to talk about: supportive thoughts and destructive thoughts. When it comes to building your confidence the goal is to uncover where in your life you are believing the destructive thoughts and transform them into supportive thoughts instead.

Destructive thoughts are negative thoughts you have about yourself or your life. These are the thoughts we have when we complain, compare, and straight-up bully ourselves. They do not make us feel good, but more often than not we believe them as fact. An example of a destructive thought would be: “I am so lame, I am never going to achieve my goals.” 

Supportive thoughts are thoughts that uplift you. They are filled with compassion and love. They offer you a positive perspective. Supportive thoughts help you become the person you want to be. An example of a supportive thought would be: “I may not have all of my goals achieved right now, but I know I am working hard and learning how to enjoy the process.” 

Realizing My Thoughts Aren’t Truth 

It was a very liberating day when I realized all of my thoughts weren’t true! I had been believing destructive thoughts for so long that I just assumed they were facts. But once I started to build awareness and gain clarity of what thoughts I was thinking, I was able to see that the destructive thoughts were ruling my life and they had to go! 

Understanding My Triggers 

A great way to build awareness is to understand your triggers. Triggers are actions that happen that set off your thoughts. So an example of this could be your co-worker says something, and instantly you feel self-conscious. You start to think all of these destructive thoughts about yourself, even though 30 seconds before you felt fine. 

What your co-worker said triggered you. Sometimes in life, this is where we want to stop. We think to ourselves well my coworker made me feel self-conscious, but in reality, it was the thoughts we had that triggered us to feel self-conscious. When you understand what your triggers are they can help you gain clarity on what thoughts you are thinking. 

Grow My Confidence 

Growing your confidence is an amazing personal journey that will change your life for the better. Knowing that your mindset plays a part, and knowing you can change your thoughts will be a great resource for you as you grow in your confidence. There are many layers to confidence. This is a practice I continue every day. I have control over my mind, and growing my confidence includes creating more supportive thoughts as I grow through life. 

Elissa Curry
Elissa Curry


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