I used to put people on pedestals. I would be in awe of these women who seemed to have it all. They had a family, while running a successful business, doing it all with perfect hair, make up, and in heels! I used to think to myself there is no way I could ever be like them. They must be special, some type of special I just wasn’t born with. You either had it or you didn’t. 

When I would put these women on pedestals not only was I doing myself a disservice, but I was also doing a disservice to whoever I was idolizing. It was a disservice to these women because they were hustling to make it all happen! What they really learned how to do was stop listening to doubt and learn how to empower themselves. 

It was so easy for me to sit in comparison and use it as my excuse to stay stuck. To assume that these other women had something I didn’t. When I decided they had some version of special that I could never have, I gave myself permission to not even try. 

Thankfully, sadness wouldn’t let me stay in fear. I stayed in inaction for about 9 years. Each year I would become sadder. I would struggle with the idea of staying in a comfort zone I had made out of my excuses. I know I needed to change something, because I knew I wanted more out of life than my excuses and fear. 

The first step I took was I decided that I could be wrong. That ordinary people could do extraordinary things. That I could achieve my goals just like the people who I put on pedestals are doing. Sometimes it is hard to allow ourselves to be wrong. It is a humbling process. We have to stop holding onto our beliefs as fact and venture into the possibility that there is another option. 

Once I realized that things could be different, I realized that my mind was doing me a disservice. I had been believing lies for a long time. My mind was full of doubt. I didn’t think I was capable of the goals I had. And if I am being honest there are still areas of my life I am working through doubts! I think this will be a lifelong process, but a process that is always worth it. 

I had to start shifting my perspective. I started by recognizing my fears and then taking ownership over them. I started calling myself out whenever I would catch myself in doubt. If I wanted to be like the women I looked up to I had to make my mind believe my goals were possible! 

Then I had to get to work. When I start a new goal one of my procrastination methods is to research as much information as possible. When I do this it tricks my brain into thinking I am taking action towards my goals, but in reality I am just wasting time. 

When it comes to action, I had to get clear on the steps that it would actually take to help me achieve what I wanted. Sometimes the action wasn’t always glamorous. Sometimes it wasn’t fun, but discipline is necessary when you want to accomplish something. 

Also when starting out don’t believe the lie that you have to be perfectly disciplined. Becoming disciplined is a skill you will learn the more action that you take. Take the drama and judgment out of it and learn how to show up for yourself. 

Next time you are looking around and you start to compare yourself to others, catch yourself. Ordinary people do extraordinary things. 

XO,

Ellie Curry