I used to think I had to be fearless. That was a daunting task because as I saw it, I was afraid of a lot of things! I believe there are two main factors running our lives, love and fear. I had to realize that fear doesn’t go away, but you can learn how to push past it with courage.
Courage can be your best friend in life. When you have the courage you can literally do anything! Courage is having the strength to do something that scares you. Most of the time we are operating out of fear. Fear of being late for work so we are yelling at the car in front of us, fear of being rejected so we reject people first or put walls up, or fear of our feelings we numb out with food, alcohol, or TV. You can tell when you are operating out of fear because it is restricting. Your thoughts and actions are coming from a restrictive place. You can even feel it in your body. I can always feel it in my chest.
However, when you are operating out of love it is expansive. You are open to the world and life possibilities. This is what I call flirting with life. You make eye contact and smile at strangers, you are nice to yourself and others, you are open.
Courage is the leap between the two! Courage is the 20 seconds of stepping out and willing to be vulnerable. Vulnerability comes in many forms. It could be taking the first step towards something unfamiliar. Or telling the cute guy you have a crush on him. It could be putting your self care first and saying no to yourself when you are about to give into a bad habit for what feels like the millionth time. In that moment of courage and vulnerability, you just grew. Personal development is the courage to constantly step from fear to love and move further and further outside your comfort zone.
So how to apply that to your dreams? When I was starting my business I had a big fear putting myself out there. I was terrified that I would be criticized. Because of this, I froze for months. I would stay busy with my business pretending that I was working on my business when really I would do tons of research and I would stay in student mode because it was familiar and safe. I would stay busy but I was not being productive.
It took me three months before I finally was able to have the courage to start working on my website and hit publish. But once I was able to hit publish it wasn’t as scary, so I pushed on to the next scary thing publishing blog posts, and you know what I got used to that too! Right now I am pushing myself to publish webinars and I am building up my courage to accomplish that next scary step.
Going after your goals is an ongoing process that does not have an ending. Because whether you achieved your dream or not you will always have another dream. You will always have dreams you are working towards.
Look at your dream and identify what your biggest fears are. What is scary about it? How can you break that fear down into manageable steps or phases? What is the easiest first step out of your comfort zone and closer to your dream? What do you need to do for yourself to make that happen? Do you need some accountability? Are there people you trust that can help encourage you? Do you need someone to help walk next to you as you get started?
I am lucky enough to have amazing coaching friends who help me when something seems too big. I also am always working on the next 1% or the next step. One step out of my comfort zone and closer to my dreams. What is your next step or 1%?
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