HOW YOU TALK TO YOURSELF MATTERS
Do you know that how you talk to yourself matters? You could change your whole life just by changing the way you think! How incredible is that!
However, when starting out this can sound complicated. How am I supposed to change something I can’t see! Also how do I change something that feels so real!
So the first thing I did when I was trying to change my thoughts was first gain awareness around them. I do this by what I call a braindump. This is where I will write down all of the thoughts I am having at a certain time.
You see there are four main components that go into changing our thoughts. We have a trigger (which is typically external from us), we have our thought stories that we start to think about after we are triggered. Those thought stories then have us starting to feel a certain emotion. Once we are feeling an emotion we either take action from it or inaction from it.
So here is an example: I am driving and I am late for work. I hit traffic (trigger). I then start to create a thought story around the situation (thoughts). I then start to get angry (emotion). Then I will either start to worry, beat myself up, honk the horn, (action or inaction).
Most of the time we don’t notice what is happening until we start feeling the emotion. Emotion is an amazing tool to help us understand what is happening in our minds. Once I realize I am feeling a particular emotion I then realize it is time to examine what is happening in my thought story.
So the first thing I do is take out a piece of paper. I then think about the trigger and write out all of the thoughts that come to mind about it. After I write out all of the thoughts that come up. I then take a highlighter and highlight all of the thoughts that are not supporting me.
When I did this often I started to notice which thoughts would always pop up for me. I started to realize what my thought patterns were. Then I was able to know what thoughts to listen for when I had them. I then was able to talk back to that thought letting them know I do not believe it anymore and it doesn’t support the life I want.
Want a journal to help you complete this process? You can grab a copy here.